Been Camping.....

Hello All.  I have been out of the loop so to speak for about 2 months as I have been camping in the woods!  Different woods from time to time, but deep in the forests of Mother Earth none the less.  I have studied, meditated, learned, felt inner peace, and stayed out of the mundane world as much as I   could.

I have found that their is little that I truly need to be happy.  A roof over my head, food & water, quiet, and an adequate bathroom have done wonders for my soul!  

It seems at times that we go through life having a "need" for "things".  As a matter of fact, I have an entire house FULL of things.  As I have come home, I've taken a good look at all the "things" I have and, I have to wonder.  What am I doing with all this CRAP?!?

I have to spend time Cleaning it, moving it, dusting it, storing it, and mostly it's in the darn way!  So, in order to bring home and keep this simple peace that I have, I have decided to clear out the majority of this stuff that I haven't used in more than 6 years.

I figure I can send things to different folks who like some of them, throw out what is broken, used, or just in general disrepair, and donate the rest to the neighborhood thrift store.

Also, I have found a wonderful spot to permanently  park my camper, so I have been fixing up my campsite.  I got a set of those cute awning lights, martini glasses of all things.  Put down a 12x14 indoor/outdoor green carpet edged with beautiful belgium stones.  Even stoned and edged the fire-pit so it looks nice.

It's turned into what I call my "Little House" where i can go and have peace whenever I need to back in nature, and still be only about 20 min from home.  And a perk?... it's only 20 feet long and I can clean it from top to bottom in less that 30 minutes!  Oh, and it has it's own flushy!  No more porta-johns!  Woo-Hoo!  Yes, I am hooked up to power, water, sewer, my internet is portable through verizon, and they have a swimming & fishing pond, as well as putt-putt, and a tiny store for the necessities.  It is very cheap to "live" here, all the above are included for a lower price per month than my weekly grocery bill!

I decided to slow down the traveling as I am a bit creaky after having had multiple surgeries.  I will still visit by car to the homes of my beloved friends... most of whom live out of state.  Those visits I will be arranging for September and October.

But for now, I am still camping.  Swimming and studying in the day, having my fires in the evening, roasting marshmallows, and simply enjoying myself!  

Take Care my Luvs!

New Meds and Great Moods!

2 weeks ago I went to see the Dr./Counselor for this problem I have been having with anxiety/depression since my accident in 2006.  I have been taking Kalonapin for about 6 months now prescribed by my norman every day GP.  Well, Mrs. Counselor did all her tests and such and tells me "Kiddo, you've been taking the wrong stuff!  Sure it worked for most of what's going on, but not for all of it and that is why you haven't felt quite right in some time."  So, she switched my meds to Zoloft.....takes some time to work into the system, but after 2 weeks I can sure tell a difference!  Feel better than ever!  So here's to the good Dr.'s & Counselors of our times... And here's to getting the right meds to take care of all the problems and not just a hit and miss!  TA!

Spreading Happiness

Recently I have "been through the Mill" 

and have come to a simple conclusion:  

Life is entirely to short to worry myself into a recluse over things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

The two things that truly matter are:

LOVE & HAPPINESS

Every morning when I wake up

Before I even get out of bed

I think of at least 5 things that I am greatful for.

My mood doesn't have to be the best for the day,

but I still find those 5 things.

For the past few days now, I have spread happiness wherever I may go.

Sometimes a simple smile or wave to a perfect stranger has them smiling back when they originally had a scowl on their face.

A kind word when someone is dreary can make the difference in the rest of someone's day.

An offer of help, or assistance, like grabbing a runaway grocery cart in the wind we have been having recently as a mother struggles to hold onto a toddler, can make a stressful situation diffuse itself before anger sets in.

Letting go of small things that can seem so stressful, letting it slide off of you, keeping that smile on your face and in your heart, eases tensions you may not of known you were carting around with you.

Medical science will show you that less stress on the mind can equal less stress on the heart and other parts of the human body, thus helping the body to heal faster.

None of this means that all your troubles will instantly disappear.  However, from personal experience, I can tell you that it does help you deal with those troubles with a clear mind, an open heart, and a softness of soul we rarely remember exists.

So however small you think it may be, find your happiness.  Even if it's for a moment.  Find it again later in the day or the even the next day, but find it.  The more often you do, the more often it will be there without having to search for it.

Know that you are loved, the powers that be never really leave us, and always have us in their hearts.  Have a good evening, sleep well, and as you drift off, find your happiness and let it be the last thing running through your mind before you drift off to sleep.  You may be surprised to find it their when you first wake.  And when you do, hold onto it for as long as you can.  

It will be worth it!       I promise!

Surgery & Drugs

ok, so I had yet another back surgery this past Friday.  Saturday afternoon, they were sending me on my way home.  Yes, I was a bit sore, but you'll have that.  So, all is going well until Sunday afternoon when I started to feel "odd".  ODD is the only way to describe it, I sorta had the chills off and on  and then had this horrific headache.  I knew there was something off.  So, I get up on Monday morning.... early..... something like 4 am .... I stood up,  and I've got bandages full of blood falling off my back.  Yep, I wake Jeff up and tell him, it's off to the ER.  So, It's Thursday and I'm still in the hospital taking, IV, IM, And PILL antibiotics for infection.  Yes it is a staff infection and it's MRSA.  Thats one of the worst types of staff infections.

The pain from the infection sucks.  The Dr. put me on a Morphine DRIP....WOOO-HOO!  Makes me giggle a lot.  I'm trying to keep light of this whole thing.  It's gonna be a minute before I'm better, but I'm sure I'll be back to my old self before to long.  We are just waiting for this stupid infection to get under control.  Hard telling with that one.  If they feed me high amounts of tylenol we can get the fever to break.  However, that is short lived as my temp starts climbing again within about 2 hours.

At regular intervals I step out for a smoke break.  There are usually 3-4 others out there with me.  The hospital is supposed to be a "non-smoking campus".  And, the cigarette police (yes, they actually have them) do keep a lock down on it.  But they seem to give us patients a bit of leeway as we can't really walk the 1/4 mile to the edge of the campus.  Besides, they'd have to sit and watch us the whole time and then have to drive us back one at a time because we would be to tired to make the long trek again.  I just think they want out of the babysitting duty! lol

The nursing staff here at St. Rita's on the 5th floor (the women's surgical floor) really are quite nice.  As long as you don't pester them every-other-minute with stupid shit, they'll pretty much get you whatever you ask for.

The kids are being little tyrants at the moment.  It seems that just because mom isn't there to keep a close eye on them, they think that they can do whatever they want.  So, tonight when they came in to see me, they got an earful that I am sure they will have a hard time forgetting anytime soon.

and so there you have it.  thats the bit of news on me.  I think I'm gonna copy paste this one into an e-mail as well so everyone gets the latest news.  TATA FOR NOW!

Of Life & Love

We are born into each life with a distinct lesson to learn or a mission to accomplish.  

There are rules to learn and abide by, energy to be raised,

and deeds to be done.

What we find along the way are those little bits that make this life worth the trip!

Sometime last week I lost sight of those little bits, couldn't find them no matter how I tried.

And so, simply gave up looking for them.

I meandered about, doing the daily stuff that needs to be done, sort of floating along.  I was on auto-pilot for awhile you could say, wondering what my purpose was, what I was to do next, where my path was leading me, searching deep within myself for the why of things.

And then I heard from a friend of mine.  He had lost his friend Doug.  Doug had been his friend for years.  For some time Doug had been dealing with medical issues.  And yet, it seems he was gone suddenly.  My friend spoke of Doug and the years they were friends, things they had done, said, times they had enjoyed together.  Doug will be missed and thought of often.

And here is where I found my "Bits".  In looking at my friends loss, I also saw his gains.  His bits of wonderful memories he has to keep with him.

These are the bits and pieces I had thought I'd lost.  The memories of everyday life. And here are some of my fondest:

 Just a few weeks ago we had a power outage one night.  The next morning, around 7am when the children were trying to get ready for school, the power came back on.  Seems every light in the house burst on at once.  And, without missing a beat, my son says "And MAN said "Let there be light".  I laughed so hard I almost peed my paints!

Oh, maybe 2 years ago, I went to Dayton and had breakfast with my friend John.  Then we went thrift store shopping, came back to his place, sat on the patio and had laughs, ate dinner I believe was a new recipe that included pork chops, and all to soon it was time to go home.  I look at it now and see that it's getting time to have one of those wonderful days again.

Sitting on my friend heathers stoop about 8 months ago on a hot summer evening.  We had a cold beer, conversation, listened to the wind go through the huge oaks on the boulevard, and as I recall, the baby was sleeping.  It was quiet and peaceful.

A day spent talking and enjoying the company of my dear Sherri.  Understanding and excepting evolutionary changes, talking of eons and the cosmos.  And seeing Bruder- her new finland puppy- who still stands over 4 foot tall even when he's down on all 4's.  Spending time.... spending energy.... creating memories.

And so, I have come to realize that it's time for me to enjoy life.  I have run "hell bent with my hair on fire" for most of my 38 years.  I believe I have finished what it was I was sent to do in this life, and now it is time to relax and enjoy the "bits".

Toodles!

Dream Messages

Dreams of the past mixed with what might have been can be overwhelming at the best of times.  Trying to figure out the specified meanings given from the powers that be can drive a soul mad.

The powers that be rarely give us things in small doses.  Usually it is a swift cosmic 2x4 upside the head that leaves us rattled, and a bit confused.  It seems those above us decide that from time to time we need reminded of the past, of how things could have been... of the present, how things are today... and of the future, so that we may change some of the ways we will deal with things that are to come to pass.

we feel both joy and sorrow about what could have been... and whimsical (or maybe slightly confused) about what could be.  These are very common responses to dreams/visions from the powers that be.  Unfortunately, the powers don't give us "simple humans" clear and direct information.  I doubt they ever will.  It seems to me that they enjoy watching us through the various stages of figuring out their messages.  

On the whole, I believe it is about reminding us of the decisions we have made in the past, weather good or bad, so that we can connect stronger to the powers that be in order to avert making the same mistakes twice.  Also, that we need to be ever mindful of the universe around us, and that everything we say,do, or think, does in fact have a direct influence on it.

And that my friends is the thought for today!

Toodles! 

Brrrrr!

I woke up this morning covered in puppies!  The thermostat says a nice 70 degrees.... the puppies say different.  According to doggie weather, it is freezing in the house and all must be settled under the covers even if it means pushing mom to the floor.  The 2 above are:

 Sweet Pea: a white Jack Russell/Rat Terrier

&

Buttons: a Tea Cup Wiener Dog

The one you don't see is our English Bullie ... Peaches.  She wouldn' hold still for the picture.

At any rate, I figured, it can't possibly be that cold, and marched everyone outside to go "potty".  WOW!  Talk about your frigid air!

Back in the house and out of the wind, I slip off my boots and putter over to our weather station.  OK, so it says (with wind chill) -4.8 degrees.  Well shit, that is cold.  So, it's out to the kitchen to make some coffee, a dollop of instant chocolate milk added to the cup for a mocha coffee.  Yummy and warm.  Standing their drinking my coffee barefoot brings me to realize that my feet are freezing!  Maybe the dogs are right.  Hot air rises ... thermostat is at shoulder level in the dining room ... ok, so I sat on the floor with the dogs for 15 minutes ... yep it was freezing down there!  Alright, heres what I figured, I go out and get them each a thermal sweater (back from the store now...)I'll turn the heat up to 72 ... turn on the fireplace (witch is at floor level) ... and get them a blanket to cozy on in front of it for a few hours.  

Vet bills cost more than Dr.s visits since most companies don"t offer pet insurance,  so it's in my best interest to keep them warm and healthy.  Ok, maybe spoiled is a better word.  No, they aren't cold enough to be sick, but hey, If I'm cold, fur coat or not, the heats going up.  And well, if it gives me an excuse to cuddle with my puppies on this cold and lazy day, well hey, coodo's to me.  At any rate, the sun is shinning, the fireplace is burning, we are warm and cuddled, they are sleeping, the house is quiet, and I've got an awesome detectives novel to read!  Ta!

Hmmmmm.....Cold, Tired, need soft squisshy things....

Many Faces

The Many faces people show us very from their personalities.

Some hide fear behind a mask of hatred.

Others hide sadness behind a mask of aggressiveness.

And some of us try and understand why others wear a mask.

Recently I have seen behind the masks of many.  I took a few days and took a very close look at a lot of people.... some were just folks walking down the street.

Having done so I have come to value those I love more and more.

They don't wear masks or pretend to be something they're not.

Those few I hold dear are kind and loving, caring and compassionate, and above all... loyal beyond words.  With vast differences and quirks I love everyone of them.  Each loved one is unique and precious in their own right. 

So let us live... truly live... and put the masks away.

Old Ideas

Old Ideas of raising and rearing children have been pushed by the way side for far to long....Well, it's time to bring them back! There is nothing wrong with a bar of soap for a filthy mouth. I got the bar from my granny...in the mouth...scraped across the teeth when it was pulled out. After a few times of that, i learned to at least keep my mouth shut within hearing distance of an adult. And then there was that wooden spoon. You know then one...it could catch you up-side the head at 30 yards if you thought you could sneak your fingers where they didn't belong. For those times when you tested your parents patience to the final limit, there was a swift couple of whacks across the hind end to correct the situation. And getting in trouble at school was a no-no. The trip to the principle was no where near the fear of him calling your house and the terrible anticipation of what was waiting for you at home. And lets not forget those fabled words of dread "You just wait till your father gets home". In those days every child new what it meant "not to be able to sit down for a week"....and we feared it! It was common place for children to have a healthy fear of their parents. If you acted up, their were consequences to be paid.

It's time we started to bring these old ideas back. They have been missing for far to long. Today we here teenagers cussing out their parents in the grocery over a sucker. We see students slapping teachers. We see a rise in young kids stealing anything that isn't bolted down. Children are beating on their siblings. And some kids have severe eating disorders all in the name of making someone else happy.

I may only be 38 years old....and I recall my grandmother saying exactly what I'm now thinking:

"Things sure have changed for the worse since I was a kid...and it don't look to be getting any better"

New Things

Everything happens for one reason or another.  The universe just doesn't function by coincidence.  So, seems I had to know a few things.  My husband the druid, decided at last full moon that everyone needed exposing....well, when it rains it pours...and it sure came out of the woodwork.  So I've got friends left that I can count on one hand.  I've heard that few true friends are better than tons of acquaintances.....I found out over the past week how true that statement is.  So, if your reading this, then you are one of the small handfull of real people who know how to be real friends.  I haven't done this before...the blogging thing...with much success...I just couldn't figure out how to work some of the web sights.  But this one is simple...so, when I have something to share, I'll send you all a link.  Right now, i'm tired and i'm going to take a nap!

Toodles!